Patience For The Better

The following essay is a work from an author who wishes to remain anonymous:

I applied to two more jobs this afternoon but it seems like such a lazy way to do it. Does it meet the global criteria for “good enough”?  A few months ago, I probably would have judged myself too harshly and said it wasn’t good enough.  I didn’t even submit and cover letter with either application.

If I cared enough about actually getting a job that sort of thing would have been important to me.  Submitting the perfect cover letter with the perfect resume – if I cared enough I probably would have found the hiring manager online, added him on LinkedIn and included a nice note.

The most important thing to me is meeting my personal goals – am I following through on all the things I say I’ll do in each day?  If not, I should ask myself why I’m not following through with those goals?  What is the root cause of my laziness?  As I sit here writing this diary entry I believe my laziness stems from a lack of desire to work for another shitty organization.  My gut instincts do offer me some insight into whether an organization will be shitty or not.  I send out my half-hearted resumes to soothe myself.  Where is my desire?  Where did it go?  Why don’t I have it anymore?

“I’m not a loser, I’m just unmotivated.”  Why am I not motivated?  Because I don’t feel a sense of fear or stress – I’m too comfortable with my life.  I don’t have the burning fear inside me that I could lose everything immediately.  I don’t have the continual racing thoughts inside of me re-enforcing backup plan upon back up plan.

From my perspective, what I’m already doing is good enough.  I’m already doing what I need to support my wife and make her happy.  The standards seem to be impossibly low and for me that’s ok.  I meet the minimum impossibly low standard day in and day out – how could I be so lucky?   How could I be so misfortunate?

Would my life be better if I were sleeping on a couch in my office in the middle of fucking China?  Would my life be better if I were sleeping in a kitchen of a dilapidated brownstone next to the 41st street port authority?  I did those things.  And in so many ways I was much happier then.  I felt in touch with humanity in some way.  I could empathize with the struggle more than most.

Why is there no middle ground?  Why is it that once we obtain what we were seeking all along we no longer feel content?  How does life change so quickly?  I’m not asking why I’m asking how!  I already know there is no answer to the why question – and that’s comforting because that represents an answer.  And that’s a good thing because it’s always better to be answered than be ignored.  That’s what homeless people always say.  And I’m saying the same thing from a $4000 per month apartment in one of the glitziest neighborhoods of Manhattan.  There’s something underrated about a pure human connection that is devastatingly real and irreplaceable.

Human connection is devastatingly underrated and irreplaceable.


‘Spirited Away’ and Japanese Culture

This post is an essay written by Erica Guo and Hsiaohui Ho on the significance of traditional Japanese culture in the award-winning 2001 film Spirited Away.  

Spirited Away, a masterpiece by the famous Japanese animator Hayao Miyazaki, is undoubtedly one of the most popular animations in the twenty-first century. The story and the setting around the movie seem illusional and illogical, however a lot of the elements and structures could trace back to Japanese cultures and religious traditions. Ranking among the greatest animated films and receiving awards all over the world, it was never any special effects but the meticulously Continue reading “‘Spirited Away’ and Japanese Culture”

Magic in the West Village

“Every once in a while we find something that catches our eye in places we exist.  We don’t notice these details in our every day lives for some reason, and it really is a pity.  This installation hanging above me caught my eye — I couldn’t really see anything special at the time, but once I took the photo and saw the result I have to say I was pleasantly surprised — the west village reveals a surprise from time to time.”



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designer piece top Parsons grad - kevin_t | ello

The designer of this piece is top Parsons graduate and rising star in the New York design scene Yiyun Guo

The piece featured above comes from her “Wind” collection

Please support the artist by checking out her work by following this link

A medley of materials: linen, wool, cotton

The design featured on the lining of the coat and shirt is completely original — if you look closely the ‘marble’ pattern is in fact a collage of line drawings consisting of portrait and profiles

Nothing too complicated

Kevin Tellier on Ello